Chemo Day 4

Hunter had a major allergic reaction during the first minute of chemo poisoning on day one. It totally caught me by surprise when he turned the brightest color of red possible and started choking. I picked him up as the nurse screamed for Benedryl. It was a terrifying experience but since then his chemo process has been typical. However, he is still suffering from high fevers and blood pressure but the levels and frequency is coming down.

Last night was tough on the little guy as he spent most of the night in obvious discomfort. It was my turn to sleep with him so I spent most of the night comforting the little man. He used to be so independent and confident but now he clings to me and starts to cry if I leave him. He is constantly monitored by a heart rate machine and it's easy to see that physical comforting drops his heart rate by at least 10-30 beats per minute. Other than changing his chemo stained diapers - physical comforting is about all that we can offer. It's terribly disconcerting to be this helpless in such a life and death situation.

Today during his 6 hours of chemotherapy he was not feeling well. He moaned until I was able to get him to sleep. Before he slept he looked at me with such terror and lack of understanding in his eyes that it broke my heart.